Merry Chanukah

I sat in the haircutting place and listened to the Christmas music that was running in the CD player. It was a sped up version of “Carol of the Bells” (as if it isn’t fast enough already), with fancy effects. The next song that came on had the same style and speed. After about one and half more songs I got used to the music and ignored it. Sometime between cutting and drying my hair the hairdresser said, “it’s only the second of December and I am already getting sick of this music.” I smiled and half nodded to be friendly, as if to indicate that I agreed. All I was thinking though was, then why are you playing such an annoying version or get a new CD!
What is the deal with the holiday craze? I love the holiday season, but the other day my mom called me Scrooge because I did not want to put up lights. We are Jewish! Her response was “it’s not like I am asking for a tree.” It seems like it is something that is expected of a person, to jump in the boat and adorn their house and yard, and sometimes even their Suburban with Christmas items. I mean isn’t the whole point to enjoy it, not to suffocate from it?
The materialism of the American holidays highlights the need to instill “merriment” in our lives. During the season happiness is manufactured through Christmas music, cookies and lights. Even to the point where the Jews are joining in. It is fun and happy until “Carol of the Bells” is sped up and Chanukah becomes Christmas.
December is the time for creating memories, and what better way to do it than by sitting on Santa’s lap? This is one Christmas tradition that my family has not adopted, that, and hanging lights. Is there no better way to celebrate than to set your child on the lap of a creepy old man and take a cheap looking photo? Who knows if he is a pedophile? There has to be a reason why your kid is crying.
Parents have dozens of copies of that cheesy, Santa picture made and send them to everyone in their address book. Oh, and then there are the people who print those long sappy letters about their year on Christmas stationary. The letters do one of two things. They either elaborate a pretty mediocre twelve months for a family, or they turn the letter into a soap opera about the hardships of the year. The recipient always reads it and acknowledges that at least it is December now, and soon it will be a new and better year. As if changing the last number of the year will alter everyday monotony. The lengthy Christmas letter, in either form, accentuates the need to be happy during the holidays; it puts the “merry” in the Merry Christmas.
Christmas really is merry, and Chanukah really is happy. Both have their traditions and their miracles. This is the stem of all of the modern holiday traditions. But why is happiness sought through a fat, jolly guy in a red suit, and in my house, a fairy that brings presents (formally known as The Chanukah Fairy)? Is it impossible to find the same kind of spirit in our commercial lives without the presents? Studies say that enzymes are released and people feel happier when they give. Maybe that is the reason for the merriment, not the cookies and the lights.
Either way Christmas and Chanukah both have their perks. Who doesn’t love lighting candles and eating greasyfoods? And of course Christmas has the lights and the tree with the jolly guy. Both have some songs, except I think that there are more Christmas songs. The Chanukah cookies that my mom and I bake might be made from the same recipe as our next-door neighbors’ Christmas cookies for Santa. But if you drive past 4530 South Verbena Street there will not be blue and white lights on our so-called “Chanukah Bush.” Bah Humbug.