Why Does it matter to you?

After not seeing members of my extended family in about a year, it’s as though all they can possibly bring up in a conversation is college. I mean they are not the ones going to college, it’s me so why is it any of there business? I guess it’s because they care about me and are curious about my future, or possibly concerned about it, but still I have a year an a half left of high school, and to be perfectly honest I have no idea whatsoever of where I am planning to attend college.
This past weekend I visited my extended family and as I scurried into my aunt’s house, I was immediately bombarded with the expected hugs and kisses, but this year there was another element to this so called experience. I walked into the musky hall of my aunt’s abode and even before I could thaw from the frigid Cleveland air, or take a whiff of the unmistakable smell of cats, I was cornered and questioned about my plans for college, it had just begun. I was first pulled aside by my uncle who attended Boston College, and had extreme pride for his school. He walked me out of the bustling room, as though it was not a subject to be talked about in front of others, and asked me, “So, Olivia, you’re a junior now right, so you’re starting to think about college right? Is BC on your list, o tell me it is.” I looked back at him smiling and replied, “yeah Jim, BC is on my list.” “Great!” He exclaimed, “so where else are you looking?” Truthfully I did not know how to answer this question because I had absolutely no idea! “Umm, well, I’m not really sure yet… probably the East coast though.” This was clearly not the right thing to say because I was then interrogated about what schools in particular. As I listed a few schools that I had heard of, but didn’t know much about, my mom rescued me. She brought be back upstairs and believing that I’d had my fix of college talk for the night, I was relieved and ready to have fun with the rest of my family… boy was I wrong.
The next interrogator on my list was my aunt Jean, who has a son who is a senior and a daughter who is a junior, so I figured that she knew that college was not a popular subject. But, once again I was wrong. I discovered that night that my aunt Jean is one of those women that lives through her children, and reads more into college than the administration department at any high school. “Well, as I was skimming the 2007 version of the Fisk’s Guide to College, I stumbled upon Loyola, which is a perfect fit for Andrew, even though he doesn’t believe me and was reluctant to put in an application, I knew that it was the school for him.” At this moment in my life I thanked God that my mom was not this involved. Jean then continued to inform me about how she wanted a school for Andrew that was a fit for his athletics as well. “Well, since he runs cross-country we needed a school that has a team for him, but nothing above the division two level because he’s not that good, you know his mile time has gone from 4:24 to 4:31, its just heartbreaking.” I looked at her in shock, a 4:31 minute mile; I guess I am not up to date on fast mile times, but in my book that is damn fast. Although this was more of a lecture than anything, it was still about college, a subject that I happen to be fairly clueless about at this point, and am not looking forward to talking about for the next year and a half.
Talking about colleges is a bizarre topic, because you know that no matter what, the person you are talking to is hinting at something, whether it be their desire to continue the legacy at their school, or that you should step up your game and make a list, there is truly a secret message behind these investigations. As the night continued I began to come up with excuses to not talk about college. One of my most brilliant ideas was to just flat out say, “oh I’m actually not going to college,” although I never actually said this I was curious about the response I would get. Would I be disowned, or just looked at in such a way that disapproval radiated from their eyes? I also came up with the idea of saying, “Oh, haven’t you heard, I am terminally ill and won’t be attending college.” I was also curious about the response I would get from this statement; probally just shock would be my guess. But being the tolerant, semi-patient person that I am, I answered each of these questions pertaining college, and although I did it reluctantly, I had talked to half of my extended family about college before the night was done.
In life I feel like there is a series of questions and or comments that either extended family or just people that you don’t see on a regular basis ask you. These questions are usually awkward and the response usually begins with, “ummm, well…” As a child, the comment is, “my have you grown!” I mean honestly how do you respond to that. I guess you could say thank you but what for it’s not exactly a compliment and it is part of human nature to grow. I suppose the honest reply would be “yeah that’s what happens to most people as they age as children.” As you get older and enter the teen years, the questions only continue. You have the standard, “Where are you going to high school” and of course, “where are you going to college.” Both of these questions are asked assuming that you are planning to attend high school and college, which is not necessarily an assumption that one can make. Once again there is an honest response to these, “why does it matter to you?” As you approach adult hood there is another series of questions that you are bombarded with. “What are your plans after college?” “Are you planning to get married?” “Are you planning to have children?” and best of all, “what are you planning to do with your life?” These are the type of questions that are simply asked to create conversation, or I guess to be overly nosey. I mean, it is clearly not anyone’s business but your own about whether you are planning to get married or have children.
People are inherently flawed with nosiness and the urge to know more than they are entitled to know. It may be because they care about you and want you to live a complete life, but to them a good life could be completely different than a good life to another person. It is a good thing that the majority of people are overly polite and tolerate these questions, because if they weren’t like this the brutal honest response would be the motto of the human race, “why does it matter to you?”